[J isn't sure what he wanted to hear, but he knows that wasn't it. He's quiet for a few moments, face buried in one hand. He's very quickly approaching the threshold of what he can handle, if he hasn't gone over it already.]
An' now they're gone. Connected to all those people and they just...left.
[Silver sits down again, cross legged. They are hard to read now, with their face covered.]
If you leave this be, I can track Gold down and talk sense into them. We can get more of the captives free and see where this whole final stand thing gets us.
Or, you can tell everyone, and do your best to persecute them. I can guarantee you they won't come back, at least not is any way that will be good for you. Gold probably gets themselves killed trying to fight the execs on their own. When it comes down to it, Shep will side with us, and there goes your only way to get home.
[Great. Great. So his choices are keep lying or tell half the truth. Fantastic.]
[He's still scared - he always is when the fact that he's playing against forces much greater than he is rises up and slaps him in the face. He's disappointed. Above all else, he's angry - angry at being used, at being lied to, at Silver for laying it out like the situation is his fault.]
[And now Silver wants him to make a choice.]
[You must be out of your GODDAMN MIND-]
[But that's not going to help, is it. He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, backing away from that explosion, and looks at Silver, expression guarded.]
Because we've never done anything that hasn't been for the exact goals we sold you at the start. This isn't some kind of conspiracy, J. Gold may have made a controversial, stupid decision... but it's 'cause they were trying to help all of you the only way they knew how.
We're scared too, you know. Gold panicked because they know as well as I do that if this plan doesn't pan out for us we'll be dead within two months.
[He snorts. Yeah, that's not a good enough answer.]
Your motivations got me here in the first place. It's your methods that're the problem. We're your team, not your tools. Make all the excuses for Gold that you want - it doesn't change that they used us, lied about it, an' tried to silence me when I found out about it. None of that's helpin' us.
Like it or not, you're both leaders. It doesn't matter how scared you get - you deal with that on your own time, an' you don't take it out on your team. How's anyone supposed to trust you guys if this is how you treat us?
[Silver's voice is sharp now. They're done getting talked down to over something they didn't even do.]
I've been backing you assholes since the beginning and I don't know if you noticed, but this wasn't my plan. I didn't even know it happened until it was over. And then - guess what - I actually stopped Gold from putting their boot through your brain, so you're welcome.
Stop scolding me like a teenager when I'm probably at least three times as old as you.
[Oh, are we getting angry now? Again? J can't win the battle of the tunes, if it comes down to it, but he can be just as sharp as Silver when it comes to tone.]
Equal responsibility for leadin' this operation, an' you made for damn sure I knew it first time we talked. Shep left, Gold ran out, an' you're the only one still here, so guess who gets to do the talkin'.
You still trust Gold after this, fine. You want me to trust him after he nearly put a boot through my brain, fine. But I need a reason. Not an excuse - a reason.
You're obviously not interested in empathizing so what the fuck do you want me to say? Do you want collateral? Do you want something to hold me hostage with? 'Cuz I'm not sitting here and playing fucking guessing games with you over what you deem to be worthy of your understanding. Nothing I say is going to be worth jack if you already think we're pieces of shit.
[That's actually a really good question, and it stops J's anger in its tracks. He's been used, and lied to, and ambushed, and the only reason that list isn't longer is Silver's intervention. How is he supposed to turn around and trust the person who did all that to him? How can he trust someone he barely knows?]
[...that's the answer, isn't it.]
I wanna know why.
[His voice is calm and level, a stark contrast to the anger it held not a minute ago. He sits down across from Silver, leaving a good amount of space between them. They aren't close, but it's still better to be on their level for this one instead of standing.]
I wanna know why the two of you started doin' this in the first place, especially when you know it can kill you. I wanna know what happened - what made you care enough to take a stand. You know Gold a lot better'n I do, so...help me understand.
[It's a lot to ask, especially from someone who wears a mask all the time. It's also not Silver's story to tell, technically, but Gold's not here, so it's Silver or nothing.]
[Silver is quiet for a while, obviously weighing their options.]
...I wouldn't have thought it'd be hard to guess. You know, two people who have music powers, with an axe to grind with the labels? What else are we going to be besides their former slaves?
We wanna get people out because we used to be one of 'em. And it's never going to stop until someone makes it stop.
[And J waits. He can hear them thinking; the problem is, he's not sure if it's genuine or if it's what Silver wants him to hear, and that's not easily solved.]
[He's already gotten that answer from Gold - to a point, at least - but yeah, it makes sense. Probably also why Gold and Silver hide their faces and voices all the time.]
[He nods. As long as the personal questions vein is getting him some answers, he might as well push.]
Gold told me that you can change what you sound like at will. You're loud an' - infectious is the right word, I guess - an' they've got a bad mashup, like there's two tunes in there workin' against each other. Usually someone's tune tells me what I need to know, but if you're choosin' to sound the way you do...why go with that?
[Silver stares at him for a few moments, apparently unsure. Eventually they shrug their shoulders.]
Part of the problem, like we keep saying, is that we don't hear things the same as you do. So I don't know exactly why I sound that way to you, except for the fact that both of us try to shield our identities with our music for the same reason we wear masks. If I had to guess...Gold probably sounds they way they do because they're torn between trying to be two things all the time. Maybe one of them is real and the other is fake. Maybe they're both fake. I don't know - it's not my business.
[That is a whole mess of uncertainties at a time when he needs exactly the opposite. A few moments of quiet consideration pass before he speaks up again. He's not accusing, but still curious:]
[It's not the answer he wants. Then again, he hasn't really had many of those during this conversation, so it's par for the course.]
[He needs to make a decision, and it's hard to do without more information, which is exactly what he's not going to get. Of course.]
[He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. One day at a time is gonna be the best he can do, isn't it - at least until he knows more. If he ever knows more.]
[It takes saying it aloud to make it real, but...yeah, he's already decided what he's doing.]
Nobody without music sense or music magic is gonna be able to tell what Gold did. Now that you're on to 'em, they're probably not gonna go after me again. And...well, we got rough odds already. The last thing I wanna do is make 'em worse.
I can't promise it'll never come up, but I'm not gonna start a witch hunt either.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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An' now they're gone. Connected to all those people and they just...left.
Now what?
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[Silver sits down again, cross legged. They are hard to read now, with their face covered.]
If you leave this be, I can track Gold down and talk sense into them. We can get more of the captives free and see where this whole final stand thing gets us.
Or, you can tell everyone, and do your best to persecute them. I can guarantee you they won't come back, at least not is any way that will be good for you. Gold probably gets themselves killed trying to fight the execs on their own. When it comes down to it, Shep will side with us, and there goes your only way to get home.
So...you tell me, J.
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[He's still scared - he always is when the fact that he's playing against forces much greater than he is rises up and slaps him in the face. He's disappointed. Above all else, he's angry - angry at being used, at being lied to, at Silver for laying it out like the situation is his fault.]
[And now Silver wants him to make a choice.]
[You must be out of your GODDAMN MIND-]
[But that's not going to help, is it. He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, backing away from that explosion, and looks at Silver, expression guarded.]
Give me a reason to trust you. Either of you.
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We're scared too, you know. Gold panicked because they know as well as I do that if this plan doesn't pan out for us we'll be dead within two months.
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Your motivations got me here in the first place. It's your methods that're the problem. We're your team, not your tools. Make all the excuses for Gold that you want - it doesn't change that they used us, lied about it, an' tried to silence me when I found out about it. None of that's helpin' us.
Like it or not, you're both leaders. It doesn't matter how scared you get - you deal with that on your own time, an' you don't take it out on your team. How's anyone supposed to trust you guys if this is how you treat us?
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[Silver's voice is sharp now. They're done getting talked down to over something they didn't even do.]
I've been backing you assholes since the beginning and I don't know if you noticed, but this wasn't my plan. I didn't even know it happened until it was over. And then - guess what - I actually stopped Gold from putting their boot through your brain, so you're welcome.
Stop scolding me like a teenager when I'm probably at least three times as old as you.
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[Oh, are we getting angry now? Again? J can't win the battle of the tunes, if it comes down to it, but he can be just as sharp as Silver when it comes to tone.]
Equal responsibility for leadin' this operation, an' you made for damn sure I knew it first time we talked. Shep left, Gold ran out, an' you're the only one still here, so guess who gets to do the talkin'.
You still trust Gold after this, fine. You want me to trust him after he nearly put a boot through my brain, fine. But I need a reason. Not an excuse - a reason.
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[They're obviously skeptical.]
You're obviously not interested in empathizing so what the fuck do you want me to say? Do you want collateral? Do you want something to hold me hostage with? 'Cuz I'm not sitting here and playing fucking guessing games with you over what you deem to be worthy of your understanding. Nothing I say is going to be worth jack if you already think we're pieces of shit.
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[...that's the answer, isn't it.]
I wanna know why.
[His voice is calm and level, a stark contrast to the anger it held not a minute ago. He sits down across from Silver, leaving a good amount of space between them. They aren't close, but it's still better to be on their level for this one instead of standing.]
I wanna know why the two of you started doin' this in the first place, especially when you know it can kill you. I wanna know what happened - what made you care enough to take a stand. You know Gold a lot better'n I do, so...help me understand.
[It's a lot to ask, especially from someone who wears a mask all the time. It's also not Silver's story to tell, technically, but Gold's not here, so it's Silver or nothing.]
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...I wouldn't have thought it'd be hard to guess. You know, two people who have music powers, with an axe to grind with the labels? What else are we going to be besides their former slaves?
We wanna get people out because we used to be one of 'em. And it's never going to stop until someone makes it stop.
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[He's already gotten that answer from Gold - to a point, at least - but yeah, it makes sense. Probably also why Gold and Silver hide their faces and voices all the time.]
[He nods. As long as the personal questions vein is getting him some answers, he might as well push.]
Gold told me that you can change what you sound like at will. You're loud an' - infectious is the right word, I guess - an' they've got a bad mashup, like there's two tunes in there workin' against each other. Usually someone's tune tells me what I need to know, but if you're choosin' to sound the way you do...why go with that?
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Part of the problem, like we keep saying, is that we don't hear things the same as you do. So I don't know exactly why I sound that way to you, except for the fact that both of us try to shield our identities with our music for the same reason we wear masks. If I had to guess...Gold probably sounds they way they do because they're torn between trying to be two things all the time. Maybe one of them is real and the other is fake. Maybe they're both fake. I don't know - it's not my business.
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How much d'you actually know about them?
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A lot of things. I've been working with them for over two years now. We've got a lot going on that the rest of you don't see.
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They ever pull anything like this on you before?
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No. Not really. The plan...I think they just believed it was the best thing they could do for the cause. For how they reacted to you...
[They shake their head.]
Usually I'm the asshole. I think their situation is getting worse.
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[Clarify, please.]
[The asshole comment goes unremarked upon. There's a reason he'd been mostly talking with Gold before this, after all.]
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I don't know how I can tell you more than that. It's complicated, and it's not my story.
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[He needs to make a decision, and it's hard to do without more information, which is exactly what he's not going to get. Of course.]
[He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. One day at a time is gonna be the best he can do, isn't it - at least until he knows more. If he ever knows more.]
You got a spare communicator on you?
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[That hangs in the air for a while, Silver apparently having accepted that tense silence is how it's going to be.]
I can get you one.
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[He lets the conversation lapse again for a few moments, taking in the music of the city.]
So. Now what?
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[It takes saying it aloud to make it real, but...yeah, he's already decided what he's doing.]
Nobody without music sense or music magic is gonna be able to tell what Gold did. Now that you're on to 'em, they're probably not gonna go after me again. And...well, we got rough odds already. The last thing I wanna do is make 'em worse.
I can't promise it'll never come up, but I'm not gonna start a witch hunt either.
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Right.
...
Thanks.
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...yeah.
[He has a lot of thinking to do, and while he can't start it here, he does let that lull stretch on a little longer.]
I guess I can't call you- when an' where do I meet you to get the new communicator?
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